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Lyrics
Eminem - If I Had

Album: The Slim Shady LP
Produced By: DJ Spinna
Recording Year: 1999

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[ Verse 1 ]

Life.. by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
itís gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ainít lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Moneyíll make them same friends come back around
swearing that they was always down
What is life?
Iím tired of life
Iím tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
Iím tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
Iím tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
Iím tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off
Iím tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour
then this boss wanders why Iím smartin off
Iím tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk
Iím tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Building Square
Tired of not being a millionaire

[ Chorus ]

But if I had a million dollars
Iíd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, Iíd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while Iím on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldnít be enough, because Iíd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

[ Verse 2 ]

Iím tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
Iím tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work
in the back of a Contour
Iím tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
Iím tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying theyíre tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ainít bringin half the skill as me
saying they wasnít feeling me on ďNobodyís As Ill As MeĒ
Iím tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of J-L-B saying ďWhere Hip-Hop LivesĒ

[ Chorus ]

But if I had a million dollars
Iíd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, Iíd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while Iím on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldnít be enough, because Iíd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

[ Outro ]

You know what Iím saying?
Iím tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
Howím I Ďsposed to be positive when I donít see shit positive?
Know what Iím sayin?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
Know what Iím sayin? Right now Iím tired of everything
Tired of all this player hating thatís going on in my own city
Canít get no airplay, you know what Iím sayin?
But ey, itís cool though, you know what Iím sayin?
Just fed up
Thatís my word


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