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Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

Album: The Marshall Mathers LP
Produced By: Dr Dre
Recording Year: 2000


[ Intro ]

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Weíre gonna have a problem here..

[ Verse 1 ]

Yíall act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
Itís the return of theÖ ďAh, wait, no way, youíre kidding,
he didnít just say what I think he did, did he?Ē
And Dr. Dre saidÖ nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dreís dead, heís locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} ďSlim Shady, Iím sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who,Ē ďYeah, but heís so cute though!Ē
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than whatís goin on in your parentsí bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but canít
but itís cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
ďMy bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lipsĒ
And if Iím lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thatís the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womanís clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel donít they?
ďWe ainít nothing but mammals..Ē Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then thereís no reason that a man and another man canít elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the p(secondary). [ Chorus ] and it goes

[ Chorus ] x2

Iím Slim Shady, yes Iím the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wonít the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[ Verse 2 ]

Will Smith donít gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics canít even stomach me, let alone stand me
ďBut Slim, what if you win, wouldnít it be weird?Ē
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear Ďem argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
ďYeah, heís cute, but I think heís married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!}
Iím sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you {bzzzt*}
And thereís a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just donít give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[ Chorus ]

[ Verse 3 ]

Iím like a head trip to listen to, cause Iím only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of yíall and I donít gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Itís funny; cause at the rate Iím goin when Iím thirty
Iíll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when Iím jackin off with Jergens
And Iím jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isnít working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming ďI donít give a fuck!Ē
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[ Chorus ] x2

[ Outro ]

Ha ha, guess thereís a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it letís all stand up

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