written by Eminem
First Word, Excrement
EMINEM:Exclimate, is that what you said? My next defense, against these extra men Who try to step to me and wanna have sex again
PAUL ROSENBERG:Vaseline
EMINEM:You little faggots, I'll spray em with gasoline They try to jack me off with Vaseline My ass is mean, I smash your spleen When I crash the scene
PAUL ROSENBERG:Cell Phone
EMINEM:With a cell phone, now who the hell's home? Y'all can't tell Paul how to throw me words
PAUL ROSENBERG:Animal Crackers
EMINEM:Cause animal crackers is what I do when I eat MC's like a cannibal backwards Ha ha, I got it, that's not it Fake rappers been spotted
PAUL ROSENBERG:Broken Headphones
EMINEM:Like broken headphones, you head home, you sped home You get your head blown, rappers try to step, they speak in the dead tones So I ain't trying to hear them, give me another, word for your mother
PAUL ROSENBERG:Stretch Armstrong
EMINEM:Stretch Armstrong, my brother, coming with rhymes every time that I be drumming Running with this shit when I kick a bitch in the stomach And star wars, this car's a Taurus Yo, how many bars we hit tonight, cause I'm drunk off
PAUL ROSENBERG:Peanut Butter
EMINEM:Off peanut butter, you see my dick and you start to stutter Start to utter, words that you shouldn't utter
PAUL ROSENBERG:Mark Whalberg
EMINEM:Cause Mark Whalberg is a small turd, and I'mma step on him like dogshit A fore fist, so rappers just get off it, I come across with
PAUL ROSENBERG:Pulp Fiction
EMINEM:With pulp fiction, yo I'll eat you like a big gulp addiction Like slurpees, got herpes, got a hair piece, rest my anises(?) Got brain damage, I'm dumber than rain man is There's mayonnaise on this, I need a plain sandwich Hurry up, give me one, rappers try to step to this static they wanna give me none
PAUL ROSENBERG:Fresh vegetables
EMINEM:With fresh vegetables, my testicles are hanging off to the left of you You're bisexual, and there's a guy next to you, standing, rappers know that I Be-
PAUL ROSENBERG:Preparation H
EMINEM:Preparation H, you didn't even let me finish my rhyme Just shut up for one more time, while I just shine, on this Microphone, cause I'mma be honest, any MC who tries to step to this I'm making you a promise, that what? Give me a word
PAUL ROSENBERG:Nostradamus
EMINEM:That Nostradamus is blowing up your house, killing your foster mammas And coming back to get your parents, well I have it These rhymes are fourteen karat, solid gold Rappers step to me, you get your wallet stole
PAUL ROSENBERG:Times Square
EMINEM:In Times Square, I got blonde hair, I'm higher than con air Rappers don't want to see me, I'll butt fuck Goldie Hawn bare In a lawn chair, cause I'm there
PAUL ROSENBERG:Kurt Russell
EMINEM:With Kurt Russell, saying, "Come here Goldie, you want my love muscle?" I know you want it, I get blunted, then I Kick these, freestyles just like whipped knees
PAUL ROSENBERG:Taxicab
EMINEM:With a taxicab, I'll smack a bitch with a maxi pad Where we going? Don't ask me dad Leave me alone, I'm not trying, to even hear you Dad, I hope you're fucking dying, off this porno mag Yo, did you see my ad? Yo, wait a minute, did you see my ass? Is what I meant to say, I meant to say a rhyme that goes this way is elementary For the century, Slim Shady's is gonna be the illest
PAUL ROSENBERG:Flamingos
EMINEM:What? Flamingos? My mother goes out and plays bingo Every single day, at the bingo hall, that's why my dick is single, small Didn't blow up, just don't give a what? A cuff? Didn't blow up, just don't give a what? A cuff?
PAUL ROSENBERG:DT's fired
EMINEM:But DT's fired, he's retired, he's not hired, yo Plus I'm tired Of busting and spitting this rhyme nonstop, I'm on top Taking records to the pawnshop, stretch Damn, see my big ick? Catch Put a D in front of it, rappers don't want none of it Coming with a ton of shit to spill, Slim Shady out, I get ill with the skill Baby, aight baby, Slim Shady Kick eighty million rhymes, till I'm older than Grady Spilled gravy, all over my damn navy blue avi Bye bye